Becoming a Family
by Maryboberrie
Summary: After fifteen years, Katniss and Peeta finally agree to have children. This is a small look into their journey to decide to have kids, her pregnancy, and if I keep writing, family life. Rated T because I'm paranoid but it should really be K . Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey all! This is my first fanfiction! It takes place about 6 years before the epilogue in Mockingjay. I don't know how long it will go on, but we'll see! Please read and review! I'd LOVE feedback! :)**

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Chapter one:

I don't want children. I could never forgive myself if I brought a child into the world and the games returned or something equally as horrible or worse took their place. I never want another child to have to go through that kind of terror again.

For fifteen years I have said no to Peeta's subtle asking's. The quiet comments or looks whenever young children are around. I always just smile and quietly brush it off. He does understand though. He knows the kind of terror the children of district twelve and all of Panem dealt with.

One night, after dinner, as we're quietly sitting, he keeps returning to the subject of Thom and his wife's new baby boy. He asks if I saw how happy they looked. Yes, I saw. I saw, and as we get ready for bed, I find myself returning over and over to how happy and blissful the small family looked. I realize I want to feel that. I need to feel that. Just as I need the dandelion in the spring. All at once I decide I do want children.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

I'm pregnant. Can this really be? My whole life I swore I would never get married and have children. Now I'm married, sitting in mine and Peeta's kitchen and I've just found out I'm pregnant. I'm scared. I'm happy, but scared. All of the fears I've had my whole life on this subject are coming back full force. I have a life growing inside of me and it's my job to protect it. But what if I can't? What if the protection this baby will need is out of my reach?

I'm going to tell Peeta tonight. He'll be thrilled. Yet I know he'll be worried about me. He knows I never wanted children. He only wants them now that the games are gone. I'll tell him and then he'll be ecstatic. Just like he was when I told him a few weeks ago that I was ready for children. But he'll still worry about me. He'll want to know how I'm handling this. How am I handling this? I'm still numb from seeing the "positive" on the test, so I'm not entirely sure myself.

I hear Peeta's heavy tread outside. He's home from Haymitch's. How should I tell him? Then I don't have time to think as he's walking through the door now.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

"Peeta," I say.

"Well hello," he says as he looks up with a smile on his face. He soon realizes that something's on my mind, and of course he goes into protection mode.

"Is something wrong? You look worried."

"No, I'm fine." My voice is surprisingly steady. "It's just… Peeta, you want kids right?"

"Yeah. Eventually," he covers, "but Katniss, not until YOU do, not until you're entirely sure," he says.

"Peeta, I am entirely sure," I say as I walk to him, take his hand and place it on my belly, hoping he'll get the hint.

He gives me a skeptical look. As if not wanting to bring it up if it's not true. I simply nod. His look changes immediately. First it's looking for confirmation and when I hold his eye-contact and nod more vigorously, it's all the confirmation he needs. His look changes once again, this time to complete and utter happiness. He picks me up and spins me around. I can't help the small giggle that escapes my lips. For the moment I push all fearful thoughts to the back of my mind, and live in the moment. This wonderful, beautiful, happy moment. He puts me back down and rests his forehead against mine.

"We're going to have a baby. Real or not real?" he whispers with a slight giggle. Yes, he's ecstatic.

"Real," I whisper back. Suddenly I realize just HOW real this is. But before fear can consume me once again he presses his lips to mine, and all my troubles float away. I just enjoy the fact that Peeta loves me. I love Peeta. We're going to have a baby. I find I'm just as thrilled as Peeta about this truth.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

As Peeta and I sit on our sofa in our home in Victor's village, my head in his lap. I realize he seems to be concentrating. On what, I don't know. He has that look. The look he got when he protected me from the peacekeepers in eleven. The look he gets when he paints. I wonder what's on his mind to bring on such intensity.

"Whatcha thinkin' 'bout," I say in a teasing voice.

This brings him back from his trance. He smiles down at me, "I was thinking about what we're going to name the baby." I almost laugh at this. We only found out two days ago. But then I think, maybe it's not such a silly idea after all. We can't call the baby "it" for forever. Peeta has been waiting for this ever since we were married, and maybe, inwardly I was too.

"Don't leave me out! Let's do girls names first," I say with a grin.

He grins back at me. "Sophia," he says.

"No, it's too…"

"Too what?"

"I don't know. It's just too… too something," I say. He chuckles and I give him a playful smack, which makes him laugh more.

"You think of one," he says, still laughing.

"Okay, Davis."

"Katniss, I thought we were doing girls names," he says on a chuckle.

"We are. What's so wrong with Davis?"

"Nothing. It's just not very girly."

"That's it!" I say sitting upright, "Sophia is too girly." He laughs, once again, at this.

"Okay, Sophia and Davis are out. Can we keep Davis in for boy's names?" I think about this for a second. "Okay," I say, "now you think of a girl's name."

As we go through names I realize that yes, I have been wanting this for a long time. I was just too scared to face it.

Finally, we decide on a girl's name. Madge. 15 years ago I wouldn't have even thought about that. Just too painful. But now it feels like the name should be carried on. She was a wonderful friend to me, and holds a very special place in mine and Peeta's hearts.

"Madge Mellark," I say, "I like it."

"Okay now for boy's."

We finally, after trying every boy's name known to man, go back to Davis. Davis Mellark. Madge Mellark. They sound nice. As we head up to bed we're both exhausted and happy. Unbelievably happy.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

I wake up looking into a pair or bright blue eyes. A smile immediately spreads across my face. He smiles back and says "Hi"

"Hi," I say, "how come you never let me sleep in anymore?"

"Because I love to see you smile."

"You used to say that I only smile when I'm asleep."

"Yeah, but not anymore. Now you smile more when you're awake, and that's why I never let you sleep a minute past seven-thirty."

I laugh at this, and I find myself blushing. Although I don't know why. We've been married for fifteen years now. But Peeta still doesn't realize the affect _he _can have.

He leans over and kisses my belly, and starts whispering to the baby. I laugh at him. I remember something he said to me before the second arena. We were on the roof, we had been given the day to do anything we like. We sat up there all day trying to forget all that lied ahead. I had my head in his lap, practicing knots with vines I had found in the rooftop garden. He was pretending to practice knots in my hair. He had paused and said '_I wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever.' _Right now, with him whispering to our baby how silly of parents it has, I want to freeze _this _moment, and live in it forever. Such a carefree, and beautiful moment.

I'm pulled from my reverie by him tickling me in the ribs. I laugh and quickly find the nearest pillow to whack him with. I succeed in getting out of his clutches. I head downstairs to make breakfast but when I open the refrigerator to look at our options, my eyes fall on some spoiled egg salad that we had for dinner the week before. I barely make it to the guest bathroom before anything that's in my stomach makes its appearance.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

As I brush my teeth I hear a voice other than Peetas coming from the kitchen. Oh great, Haymitch. Here come the crass jokes and insults. I've mostly learned to deal with them now. I wash out the toothpaste and and head for the kitchen.

"Hey sweetheart," he says. The nickname has stuck over the 15 years an is more endearing than anything else.  
"Hello," I reply, in a neutral tone.  
"Finally gave in, huh sweetheart?" He says with a chuckle. Not as bad asusual but the day's just started. "What can I say?" He continues-here it comes, "I knew you couldn't hold out forever. Course you couldn't have completely held out on him, eh sweetheart?" He says with a smirk and a wink. Yup. I knew it'd get worse.  
I look over to Peeta who has his hand over his mouth, obviously stifling a laugh. I know how to blow Haymitch's comments off. After all, I've lived 2 doors away from the man for 15 years.  
"That's all you can come up with Abernathy?" I say, "seems pretty weak if you ask me."  
"Well, I can't be perfect all the time. See ya around. I've gotta go get a drink." He says as he heads for the door.  
As soon as the door's closed Peeta bursts out laughing. I join in, and we laugh until the tears are streaming down out faces. It's not even that funny but we're both giddy and grateful for an excuse, as weak as it may be.  
When we're done with our bout of laughter we head for the telephone. We decided last night we'd call my mom. I can't wait. I know she'll be thrilled and I can't wait to here her reaction. Maybe we can convince her to come and stay for a week. I would really love it if she would deliver our baby. I'm having it at home that's for certain. I've spent enough time in hospitals to last me a lifetime.  
We pick up the receiver and dial the familiar number.  
"Hello?" We here my mom say on the other end.  
"Hi! It's Katniss and Peeta," Peeta replies.  
"Both of you! Well don't I have good luck." I can hear the smile in her voice.  
"Yep. We've got something exciting to tell you," I say.


	7. Chapter 7

I'm running. Running through the forest of our first games. Running, trying to protect mine and Peeta's child. I look back to see Peeta's cold body on the ground, covered in the red liquid I've come to know all too well. It was a spear, in his stomach just like Rue. I pass the cave we took refuge in. The baby in my arms screams and I hear Peeta's voice calling to me but I know he's dead. I continue to run, but I smell the too familiar odor of blood and roses. I hear the word "nightock" repeated 3 times and the bomb goes off, as we narrowly escape, but I still hear Prim's blood curdling screams.

I hear my name. Snow, repeating my name, just as the lizard mutts did.

Kattniss.

Kattnis.

But it's not Snow's voice I hear anymore it's Peeta's. I don't know why, he's miles from me by now. And he's… Dead.

But I continue to hear it.

Katniss.

Katniss.

It's not said with panic anymore. It's soothing and quiet and concerned. The baby I hold has stopped crying. Slowly I open my eyes. The bright blue one's I've come to know so well, look at me in concern. I'm drenched in a cold sweat and Peeta is holding me tightly, just as he has on so many other occasions.

He doesn't say anything. He just let's me lie comfortably in his strong arms and catch my breath. He lays a hand on the small bump on my stomach.

"Do you feel better?" he asks aft several more minutes of quiet.

"A little," I reply weakly, as he kisses the top of my head.

I don't feel like talking about it now, but I know I will, because Peeta and I are a team. We work together and lean on each other for support. The nightmares don't come as often as they used to, but they still come. We've learned to master them for the most part. I've learned to feel when Peeta's body goes rigid beside mine, in fear, and I've learned the best way to comfort him afterwards. Peeta never had to learn. He always knew. Just as he knows now. And he knows that I will tell him eventually so I let myself drift off again, to a peaceful slumber, in the security of my husband's arms.

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**A/N I'm not sure when I'll write again, so this is it for now. I probably will continue... at least until I get to a place where I can tie it up. As always, please R&R :)**


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